In America, we have a system in which multi-billionaire elitists select millionaire candidates for the Democratic and Republican parties. The people are then free to select which candidates they think will screw them the least. We call this Democracy.
—Gary Amirault, Tentmaker Ministries
The two political parties are a lot like the National Football League in any given contest. They have their team colors. They both have their silly mascots and the game is everything, beyond reason. Other than issues regarding interpretation of the rules and bad behavior that might interfere with the efficiency of the business, issues mean nothing, and it would be odd if they did. At their rallies fans get to throw confetti, blow horns, wave signs, and wear funny hats. Billions of dollars are spent on ads, and promotional geegaws. Before the games begin, the team management decides who the players are going to be. In fact, management is happy to even bring in outsiders who know nothing about a particular team’s home or may not even like it. All that matters is that the players know how to “play ball” and be team players for the owners. In any given contest there’s only one winner, and the other team is a loser, so half of the fans and players are always unhappy.
The owners of the teams only want one league. This way they make more money, have more power, and have a better chance of drawing in the crowds and selling tickets. This is how they got to be immensely rich and powerful. The NFL is even starting to expand into other countries. The owners get the drama of competition while still controlling the game and the money. The owners all know this, so they conspire to keep out any other leagues. The NFL is also heavily involved in politics and has a direct connection to the two parties. The owners and the league spend millions of dollars giving donations to politicians in order to buy influence and increase their power.
In the same way the NFL team owners would rather lose a game than let another league be formed, the two political parties would rather lose an election than let in any other parties on the game. Nevertheless the two parties have to contend with each other to create a semblance of democracy while making sure that anyone outside the duopoly never gets to play.
We all share the same commons but when we divide ourselves up into rival camps small differences get blown up and exaggerated. As a result many begin to put their own group or party above principles or ideas. This can happen with a football team, a political party, or a country. The problems start when loyalties or patriotism take priority. The Father of Our Country, George Washington, was acutely aware of this problem and famously warned against it. Almost universally beloved, he was the only U.S. president to not belong to any party. Washington was also the only president to get 100% of the Electoral College—twice. He would have had three terms, except that he declined the honor and set a precedent for term limits that would later be codified into a constitutional amendment. Together with James Madison and Alexander Hamilton, our first president penned his farewell address warning of the dangers of political parties and insisted that they restrained. He pointed out that parties try to seize power and exact revenge on their opponents instead of promoting the public liberty. He also warned against false patriotism and emphasized an even-handed policy toward foreign nations. Washington’s address is still read in the Senate every year on Washington’s birthday, but the more fractious House of Representatives stopped reading it in 1984.