Archive for the ‘Things that make you go 'duh'’ Category

Off the beat — March 8-10, 2010

Monday, March 8th, 2010

Man tosses baby

Officers responded to a call for a trespass complaint March 1. When they got to the residence, a man ran from the officers with an infant in his arms. According to the DeLand Police Department’s report, the man tossed the baby to a lady at the residence “in a reckless manner” before fleeing. Officers did not catch the man.

Public bathroom vandalized

Feb. 25, deputies conducted an extra patrol of Chipper Jones Park in Pierson, when they discovered the restrooms had been vandalized. Light fixtures and a sink were damaged. There are no suspects.

Needed a lesson

Someone broke into a vehicle in Deltona on Feb. 28, and stole a book bag, which had several textbooks in it. There are no suspects at this time.

Drive-by marble-throwing

Feb. 28 was a busy night for marble-throwing criminals. Deputies reported six instances of criminal mischief overnight. According to police reports, an unknown person was shooting or slinging marbles into vehicle and business windows. The report speculates that, based on the targeted windows, it was likely the incidents were occurring from a vehicle.

Five vehicle windows were broken, and a front window at Temple Baptist Church was broken.

March 3, a marble-thrower hit a house, shattering a resident’s front-door glass.

And, on March 4, a sliding-glass door was shattered at a Deltona home, possibly by a marble.

Accidentally called the cops

Deputies arrived at a Deltona home after someone called 9-1-1 and hung up. While at the home, the deputies smelled marijuana. The resident turned over a small amount of pot, but then he tried to hide a pipe and another small bag of pot. The man was arrested.

Take the car out for a bite

A DeLand woman said her live-in boyfriend bit her on the arm March 1, because he was mad at her for driving his vehicle. The boyfriend confessed and was taken to jail for battery.

New threads and dinner

On March 1, a man stole $483.23 worth of meat and clothing from Walmart in Orange City. When he was confronted by store security, he took off running. Deputies set up a perimeter and caught the thief on Fort Smith Boulevard, where he was read his Miranda rights and confessed to the crime. All of the clothing, and the meat, was recovered. The meat thief also had a warrant out for failure to pay child support. He was taken to jail.

Pot dealer robbed

Sheriff’s deputies responded to a call about armed robbery. When they got to the Deltona address, two people said they invited a man inside the residence to smoke pot. The man went outside, came back with a gun, and had his hosts tie each other up. Three other men came into the residence to help steal 30 pounds of marijuana, cash, and a cell phone. The thieves left in a silver car. A BOLO (be on the lookout) was issued.

Sheriff’s spokesman Brandon Haught said that there was no way to verify the victims’ claim — that 30 pounds of pot was stolen; however, if the claim was true, the value would be around $21,000 — or $700 per pound.

Haught said the weight of the drugs was in question, because the bucket the victim said she stored the pot in was not big enough to hold 30 pounds.

Because there is no evidence, the victim is not being charged. “However, one of our narcotics units is actively investigating this case,” Haught said.

If you have information about a crime, call Crime Stoppers, 1-888-277-TIPS. You can remain anonymous, and may be eligible for a reward.

You must wear drawers! You must not stink!

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009

I recalled seeing this ordinance on one of my daily Weird News widgets, but I didn’t comment on it because I’ve been so steenkin’ busy as of late.

So, I want to give a big Hooty-Hoo to Orange City Mayor Harley Strickalnd. He made mention of the a new ordinance in Brooksville at last night’ city council meeting.

Which brought it back to my attention.

I give you the city of Brooksville, who passed an ordinance to require employees to wear underpants and deo.

(I’ve known folks from Brooksville, so I can’t say this is unwarranted.)

Here’s the article in Hernando Today

(I so want to be hired as the Underpant Enforcer. Could you imagine having a government job enforcing underpants and stinky pits? How fabulous is that?!)

Flying egg salad and more!

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

Case#:09-16254    Date: 5/22/2009 Time: 19654  Invest Asgn: Header: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SIMP Location: Business Name: ZONE:24

D1 threw an egg salad sandwich at her step-father hitting him in the chest. D1 was arrested and transported to VCBJ.

Food flinging is criminal?

Nice.

Do you know how many lunch-rooms around the country should be locked up? I mean, in my day, we had at least 4-5 food-flinging episodes a year. Multiply that by the years I was in school, and you’ve got some serious criminals getting away scott free for hurling tater-tots and salisbury steaks with congealed gravy.

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Plastic bag shirts — Call the fashion Police!

Monday, May 11th, 2009

Today’s idiot of the day was pretty clear.

Meet nudie woman, who ran around Daytona completely naked save for a plastic bag.

Do I need to tell you she admitted to a few drugs?

Congrats to our IOTD, Nudie Woman.

AT APPROXIMATELY 0533 HOURS DEPUTIES WERE DISPATCHED IN REFERENCE TO A NAKED FEMALE. AS DEPUTIES ARRIVED ON SCENE THE NAKED FEMALE RAN OUT THE BACK DOOR TO THE BUSINESS. DEPUTY MCGUIRE OBSERVED THE FEMALE RUN ACROSS NOVA ROAD WITH DEPUTY LAMEE CHASING BEHIND HER ON FOOT. THE FEMALE WAS CAUGHT AND SECURED IN THE PARKING LOT OF 1903 N NOVA ROAD, HOLLY HILL. THE FEMALE WAS COMPLETELY NAKED EXCEPT FOR A CLEAR 7-ELEVEN PLASTIC BAG SHE HAD ON AS A SHIRT. THE FEMALE WAS COMBATIVE AND APPEARED TO BE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF NARCOTICS. THE FEMALE WAS PLACED INTO DEPUTY MCGUIRE’S PATROL VEHICLE AT WHICH TIME SHE BEGAN KICKING THE DOORS AND BANGING HER HEAD ON THE WINDOWS. THE FEMALE EVENTUALLY IDENTIFIED HERSELF AS (V1).  V1 DID ADMIT TO DRUG USE (COCAINE) AND ALCOHOL THIS MORNING AND SHE ADVISED SHE WANTED TO KILL HERSELF. V1 WAS TRANSPORTED TO HALIFAX BY EVAC.

Dumb criminal of the day – cop crasher or runner?

Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

This past weekend we had an abundance of idiocy in Volusia County.

I had a hard time picking a DCOTD. So here are my two favs:

We have the chick who decided to change her course midway and runs into a deputy, and, we have the dude who refused to stop for the deputy — while obeying all traffic laws — and made a run for it when he parked.

Who do you think deserves the Dumb Criminal of the Day title?

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Today’s idiot of the day… ripped off while trying to sell drugs, then picked up for driving with no license — AFTER officers said “Don’t drive”

Monday, April 20th, 2009

From Sunday, April 19 DeLand PD logs:

Disturbance – S. Woodland – A man and his friend alleged that they were in the parking lot of this location talking to several unidentified subjects when one of the subjects allegedly reached inside the victim’s van and stole his prescription of Oxycontin. The victim and his friend stated they chased the subjects but lost them. A resident in Sha-de-Land was holding the victim down at the time of police arrival because when the men ran through the resident’s yard they accidently knocked down a child. The victim’s version of the events was suspicious and he was very uncooperative with officers. The victim’s vehicle had a tag that expired in 2008 and he and his friend’s licenses were suspended. Officers told the victim that he could not drive the vehicle at which time he stated that his sister was coming to pick up him and the vehicle.

Wait for it…. WAIT FOR IT…

Suspended DL/Poss of Drug Paraphernalia/Poss of Cont. Sub with Intent to Sell – S. Woodland (Related to above incident) – The victim from the previous report ignored officers’ orders not to drive and was stopped after leaving the S. Woodland Blvd. location. He was arrested for DWLS. A search of his vehicle revealed that he had a pill crusher hidden in a boot along with some of his prescription pain medication. The victim, now suspect had numerous unfilled prescriptions which he stated that he lost and recently found. Many pills were unaccounted for out of his current prescription based on the date prescribed and the number of pills that are supposed to be taken daily. The man was in possession of Oxycontin, Methadone and Alprazolam. When interviewed separately, the man’s friend provided a sworn statement that he and the man were at the location to sell their prescription pills to street buyers and that the above mentioned disturbance was a result of them being “Ripped off.” Based on the totality of the circumstances the man was charged with Poss. with Intent via Complaint Affidavit.

Yeah

No need for snarky commentary. This speaks for itself.

Man pees on woman during in-flight movie

Thursday, April 16th, 2009

Just in case you didn’t know… THIS is why I don’t fly

From YAHOO.COM’s Offbeat News:

AP

Man jailed for urinating on woman during flight

Published – Apr 15 2009 08:17PM EST

A 28-year-old man has been sentenced to three weeks in jail for urinating on a 66-year-old woman during a Continental Airlines flight last month from Los Angeles to Honolulu. Jerome Kenneth Kingzio, a resident of the U.S. Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands, was sentenced after pleading guilty Tuesday to assault charges in federal court in Honolulu.

The victim was headed to Hawaii on March 21 for a scuba diving vacation and was watching an in-flight movie when Kingzio stood up and began urinating on her. He had been drinking on the flight.

U.S. Attorney Edward Kubo Jr. said the woman reported that not only was her entire vacation ruined, but she continues to suffer emotionally from the incident.

The case was investigated by the FBI.

Drugs and alcohol make you dumb — from the VCSO activity reports

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

And, just a couple of fun blips for this gloomy Tuesday morning:

From the Volusia County Sheriff’s logs:
District 4
Date: 4/9/2009 Time: 1957 Invest Asgn:
Header: ARRESTS
Deputy Dwan conducted a traffic stop on D1 at the intersection of Piedmont Dr. and N. Normandy Bl. in Deltona. Contact was made with D1 who exited the vehicle and began crawling around on the ground and was having great difficulty in standing up. D1 was arrested for DUI and transported to District 4 where breath test results showed a .428 and .427. D1 was then transported to Florida Hospital Fish to be medically cleared.

The legal limit is .08. I wasn’t sure you could still be ALIVE when you’re more than five times over the legal limit, let alone drive. This guy was drunk to a new degree, and I have to tag him as dumb.

District 6
Date: 4/11/2009 Time: 2328 Invest Asgn:
Header: BATTERY SIMPLE
Deputies responded to 30 W. Highbanks Rd. in Debary, reference to a female being attacked in her front yard by an unknown male. Upon arrival contact was made with Humberson, Tiffany who advised that she went to check her mail at approx. 2300 hrs and was attacked by a male subject. Humberson reported that the white male subject was approx. 6 feet tall and was wearing a dark colored sweatshirt and ski mask. She further advised that he pulled her to the ground and that she struggled with him for several minutes and that the suspect fled the area when a car passed by.
Humberson then entered her residence and awoke her boyfriend Platt, Mitchell W/M 11-18-88 who advised her to clean herself up while he went to search the area for the suspect. After approx. 20 minutes of searching with negative results Platt called the Sheriff’s Office to report the incident.
While investigating the incident a water bong was located in plain view in the residence which resulted in Platt being arrested for possession of paraphernalia. There was no physical evidence on scene to support Humbersons story.

Right.

People, this is just a failure in pothead etiquette. EVERYONE knows that when you call the police and ask them to come into your home, don’t leave out the every-day water bong… bring out the good bong, the one you reserve for company.

Dumb criminal of the day — Volusia County Sheriff’s Logs

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

There was so much activity this weekend. Like, an insane amount.

So I have a lot of oddball stuff to share.

This one deserved its own entry.

Date: 4/9/2009 Time: 2124   Invest Asgn:
Header: THEFT

**Juvenile**

The victim notified the Sheriff’s Office to report a stolen cell phone stolen.  The victim advised that when it was learned the cell phone had been stolen, the number was dialed to see if someone would pick up.  Someone did answer and advised that he would sell the cell phone back to the victim for $50.00.  Sgt. Maddox was made aware of the incident at which point a simple plan was developed.  Deputy Mefford obtained the victim’s cell phone number and posed as the victim while making arrangements to meet the suspect at a predetermined location to complete the deal.  The Wendy’s Restaurant located at 1203 S. Woodland Blvd was agreed upon by the suspect.  Sgt. Maddox responded to the area and kept close surveillance on the Wendy’s parking lot.  Deputy Mefford then made an additional phone call to the suspect to confirm his exact intentions on the matter. The suspect made it clear that he wanted $50.00 for the cell phone and “better not see any police.”  Shortly after the final conversation, units quickly converged into the Wendy’s parking lot.  Deputy Mefford immediately observed the suspect, who was trying to conceal himself in the bushes on the south end of the restaurant.  Upon contact, Deputy Mefford observed the suspect as he threw an object to the ground just before being escorted to the patrol vehicle.  The suspect  was taken into custody without further incident.  Deputy Mefford dialed the victim’s cell phone number one last time for confirmation.  It rang from the ground where the defendant was standing.  The charger for the stolen cell phone was also later recovered from the defendant’s pants pockets.  The cell phone and charger were photographed then returned to the victim.  The defendant was arrested and charged with Felony Dealing in Stolen Property and Petit Theft.  The defendant was transported to DJJ.

NICE!

Odd stolen stuff on the Volusia County Sheriff’s activity reports

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

Now, the event logs and activity reports from local police agencies are often chock full of burglaries. TVs, iPods, video games, money, jewlery… all unfortunately stolen, but I can follow the logic of the theif.

These are a few random bits from the Volusia County Sheriff’s Daily activity reports over this past weekend. Things that have been stolen that, well, just made me scratch my head.

It just goes to show that there is no logic to the criminal mind.

Enjoy.

Date: 4/10/2009 Time: 1200 Invest Asgn:
Header: BURGLARY RES

Entry was made to V1’s unsecured residence sometime between 1200 hours on 04-10-09 and 1630 hours on 04-10-09. A nine inch portable DVD player, a five pound package of hamburger meat, a package of beef chunks, and a small bag of onions were taken from the residence. V1 has resided in the trailer for approximately one week and stated that O1 is the caretaker of the trailer for the owner. Case is active to Deputy Post.

I’m thinking barbecue!

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