A DeLand police officer got called to an East Michigan Avenue residence around 5:45 a.m. Dec. 20. A man who lives there showed the responding officer his Hyundai, which had been vandalized a short time earlier.

“[N]umerous deep scratches” had been made (apparently “with a thin metal object”) on the hood and on the driver’s side of the car.

All four tires were flat, and the officer said he “heard air still leaking out of them.”

Someone had smashed the rear-door window on the driver’s side, and pieces of glass lay on the ground and in the vehicle.

And the gas cap cover had been opened, and there was “a pry mark in the paint.”

The owner of the Hyundai said he had been inside his home when “he heard a loud bang outside and went to investigate it.” He told the officer he “had a feeling it was his ex-girlfriend due to her sending him numerous text messages throughout the night/ morning.”

And sure enough, when Ex-Boyfriend went outdoors he found Car-Mangling Ex- Girlfriend “standing next to his damaged vehicle.” She shouted an obscenity or two at her former love and drove away in her car.

Ex-Boyfriend said “he believes this incident occurred because [Car-Mangling Ex- Girlfriend] attempted to label [Ex-Boyfriend] as the father of her child. [Ex-Boyfriend] had a paternity test done and was found to not be the child’s father which upset [Car- Mangling Ex-Girlfriend].”

To me, this sounds a heck of a lot like a country song! What do you think?

Anyway, police had trouble finding Car Mangler, so they charged her by affidavit.

— By Keith Allen, based on local police-agency reports. If you have information about a crime, call Crime Stoppers, 1-888-277-TIPS. You could be eligible for a reward.