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A 32-year-old man and his 20-year-old girlfriend were quarreling at her home, and, as she later told a DeLand police officer, he “had gotten argumentative due to him being intoxicated.”

Irritated Girlfriend told Soused Significant Other she would drive him to his house.

They argued the whole way there and, upon arrival, Irritated Girlfriend “confronted him about [Soused Sig Other] cheating on her.”

(This 32-year-old guy has a 20-year-old girlfriend, and yet he may be fooling around with someone else? He ought to listen to Joni Mitchell’s “Big Yellow Taxi.” You know, the line about how you have something good but “you don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone.”)

Anyway, when the subject of infidelity was raised, Soused picked up a restaurant to-go box full of food (including some chicken) and threw it at his beloved’s face — and his aim was true. When the police officer arrived, he “observed that there was food and red sauce on [Irritated Girlfriend’s] shirt and facial area.”

What a shame to waste perfectly good food by using it as a projectile!

Soused Significant Other was arrested on a charge of misdemeanor battery touch/ strike and taken to jail.

Maybe the judge will throw the book at him for throwing the food at his girlfriend.

— By Keith Allen, based on local police-agency reports. If you have information about a crime, call Crime Stoppers, 1-888-277-TIPS. You could be eligible for a reward.

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