A 27-year-old intoxicated man and his 35-year-old girlfriend were quarreling in Downtown DeLand in the early-morning hours of an October day. The police report noted that “They were arguing over [Drunken Boyfriend] creating a large bill at [a] bar and being intoxicated.”

When a DeLand police officer talked with him, Drunken Boyfriend “became even more belligerent and started to threaten Officers and citizens on scene. His actions were disturbing the peace of the people in the area.”

The officer arrested Drunken Boyfriend on a charge of disorderly conduct at a public establishment, and had him taken to jail.

His girlfriend probably thinks, “Wow, I can’t take my boyfriend anywhere!”

And Drunken Boyfriend may be thinking, “You can dress me up, but you can’t make me behave!”

— By Keith Allen, based on local police-agency reports. If you have information about a crime, call Crime Stoppers, 1-888-277-TIPS. You could be eligible for a reward.