A woman called 911 late on a December night and “advised she needed deputies at her residence due to being a threat to her children.” She then hung up, and no one answered when the 911 operator called her back.

A sheriff’s deputy arrived at the woman’s residence in Osteen and spoke with the woman’s boyfriend. (Boyfriend and Girlfriend have been romantically involved for about four years and have two children.)

Boyfriend said his girlfriend had been “celebrating her [28th] birthday throughout the day and had been drinking and partaking in cocaine.”

He said he fell asleep on the couch but was awakened by Girlfriend striking his right hand with a frying pan. (What is it with women waking up their boyfriends and clobbering them with a frying pan? In December, this column described another instance of a frying-pan-wielding lady. I’m starting to think frying pans may be deadlier than screwdrivers.)

Then Girlfriend broke the rear kitchen window. (Was she trying to escape? And if so, from what?)

Boyfriend “believed [Girlfriend] was having some type of breakdown and did not wish for law enforcement assistance.”

The deputy “observed severe swelling and redness to [Boyfriend’s] right hand and a laceration to [his] left index finger,” but Boyfriend told the lawman he didn’t want to press charges. Even so, the deputy placed Girlfriend under arrest on a felony charge of aggravated battery using a deadly weapon.

I wonder how she’ll celebrate her 30th birthday. If Girlfriend got so upset from turning 28, can you imagine her reaction to the big 3-0?


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