Last week, I tried to Cram a Lot of romantic medievalism into my column. This week, I’m back to an ordinary case of a guy stealing food and riding away on a bicycle.

At about 7:45 in the morning, a DeLeon Springs woman walked from her house into her attached carport and found a man stealing food from her freezer.

Her husband entered the carport and confronted the burglar, who ran away, dropping some frozen mashed potatoes as he fled. The burglar got on a bicycle and rode away.

The couple called the Volusia Sheriff’s Office to report the incident, and they described the culprit as a white male who had “dirty blond hair with pink stripes,” was wearing black shorts, and was on a bike.

A sheriff’s deputy processed the freezer but was unable to get any fingerprints from it.

He drove out into the area and found someone matching the description. When the lawman asked the guy “if he knew why he had stopped to speak with [him],” the man “replied that it was about the incident and pointed toward [the street on which he had burglarized a home].”

The deputy handcuffed the fellow, a 22-year-old transient with the first name Anakin. (No Star Wars jokes!)

Anakin was arrested on a charge of burglary of an occupied dwelling.

(OK, one Star Wars joke: Has Anakin Bikerider gone over to the dark side of the fridge? Is he now Homein Vader?)

(Well, I guess that’s two jokes, such as they are.)

Anyway maybe next week I’ll delve into someone’s uncomfortable encounter in a drive-thru lane. See you then.