Off the Beat: Making herself at home

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Off the Beat: Making herself at home
STOCK DEPOSITPHOTOS

A 67-year-old woman was sitting on a bench on Indiana Avenue in DeLand the morning of Nov. 9 and, at about 9:45, “stood up … and pulled her pants down to her knees.”

She “then sat back down … and urinated all over the bench and the ground below the bench.”

She stood up, pulled up her pants, sat down again, “and started reading her book.” (And it’s probably not a treatise on modern plumbing!)

Another woman, who saw what just transpired, got the attention of a DeLand police officer walking nearby and gave him all the details.

Another officer walked over to Public Peeing Reader to find out what the heck she was thinking. The first thing he noticed, other than the urine, was “a white round pipe with burn marks on it” next to the woman’s left leg. The officer asked her what it was, and she referred to it as a smoking pipe. (Which can sometimes get you in more trouble than a smoking gun.)

Public Peeing Reader told the officer “all she does is smoke ‘weed’ and nothing else” and, no, she doesn’t have a medical marijuana card.

A test of the white pipe was presumptive positive for a high level of THC, and another test was presumptive positive for marijuana.

So Public Peeing Pot Smoker and Reader was charged with possession of drugs or drug paraphernalia and indecent exposure, and taken to jail.

And I really, really hope somebody has washed that bench (and the sidewalk) at least a couple of times since Nov. 9.

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Originally from New York City, Keith’s family moved to Daytona Park Estates in 1963, and Keith came to The Beacon in the autumn of 1996, having been friends for years with Jeff Shepherd, and Jeff's wife, Beacon co-founder Barb Shepherd. Keith is a proofreader and copy-editor extraordinaire, and his skills help keep The Beacon mistake-free. He married Kitty Foster in 2006; now Kitty also works at The Beacon.

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