Re: Canada as the 51st state

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Re: Canada as the 51st state

Editor, The Beacon:

So, President-elect Donald Trump, you think it would be a good idea to see our sovereign country — Canada — as your 51st state?

Sorry, Donald (as a non-American and friend, may I call you “Donald”?). This is a really dumb idea. It just ain’t going to fly, and I’ll tell you why.

We like our culture. Take guns, for instance. There are 400 million to 500 million civilian-owned firearms in America. In Canada, there are about 67 guns. The most lethal is Uncle Charlie’s 12-gauge he uses for duck hunting once a year.

We just don’t want our kids to be afraid to go to school.

Our weather? Sure, it’s a little cooler here sometimes, but that air seems to foster a fair bit of creativity. Haven’t you enjoyed this very short list of Canadian artists and famous people like Céline Dion, Wayne Gretzky, Neil Young, Justin Bieber, Shania Twain, Bryan Adams, Avril Lavigne, Leonard Cohen, Michael Bublé, Pa Cartright, Captain Kirk, Paul Anka and many, many more?

Our inventions? Insulin, the zipper, Canadarm, peanut butter … oh, and basketball. If you’ve got to make a phone call, give thanks to Alexander Graham Bell for his invention in Nova Scotia. And we know there’s something in the air up here that kick-starts inventors. Ask Elon Musk. He got his start here.

Our politeness? If you’re somewhere in the world and someone bumps into you and says “Sorry,” you can be sure it was a Canadian. “Sorry” is our calling card. We don’t think our American friends are sorry very often.

And we gave you hockey! We want to play against you; we don’t want to be on your team.

Donald, we’ve been “friends with benefits” for many years. We are each other’s best trading partners, and we know it would be wise to drop the 51st-state idea. We have no interest in it.

Some have said you should just charge across the longest undefended border in the world — the 49th parallel — and take our resources. But this thought: You’ll be very surprised when you run into some very effective and really ticked-off Canucks.

Donald, let’s treat both of our countries well. And may you sink a few long putts.

Robb Lucy

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Editor’s note: Lucy’s letter reached us via Buz Nesbit of DeLand. Lucy and Nesbit have been friends since they met on a cruise in 1985, touring the Mediterranean.

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