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PHOTO COURTESY ERIK MCLEAN, PEXELS

A Volusia County sheriff’s deputy was dispatched to a home in Deltona at around 10:45 p.m. on St. Patrick’s Day.

The man and woman living there have been in a romantic relationship for six years, but, according to the man, they “are currently in the process of breaking up.”

The woman had spent a good bit of the day at a bar in Deltona with friends, and she noted that she had “consumed multiple alcoholic beverages throughout the night and became slightly intoxicated.”

Liquored-Up Lady said she “began to receive phone calls and text messages from [her boyfriend] demanding to know where she was and whom she was with.” Badgering Boyfriend “berated [her] on the phone, accusing her of cheating on him.” (Well, if the couple are breaking up anyway, why does he care if she’s seeing other people?)

Liquored-Up Lady said that when she arrived at home, Badgering Boyfriend “began to yell at her with more accusations of infidelity.” When they got into the kitchen, she “attempted to disengage from the argument and walk into her bedroom when [Badgering Boyfriend] grabbed her by her light t-shirt sleeve.”

He “spun [her] around … so she was facing him before he grabbed her by both her sleeves and continued to yell at her.”

She finally succeeded in pushing him away, but then Badgering Boyfriend “grabbed a nearby yellow Angel cake and threw [some of] it at [Liquored-Up Lady] while she was facing him.”

The deputy saw no injuries on either party but noted “what appeared to be a stain on the bottom right side of [Liquored-Up Lady’s] shirt along with residue/crumbs consistent with the yellow mentioned that the cake itself was missing a big chunk, “as though someone had grabbed a handful.”Angel cake.” And the deputy

Deputy wasn’t persuaded when Badgering Boyfriend denied that the cake had become involved in the argument. Boyfriend said he tore off a hunk of cake for his dogs to eat.

Deputy concluded that Badgering Boyfriend was the primary aggressor, and arrested him on a charge of simple battery dating violence.

So you see, you can’t have your cake and throw it at your girlfriend too!

— By Keith Allen, based on local police-agency reports. If you have information about a crime, call Crime Stoppers, 1-888-277-TIPS. You could be eligible for a reward.

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