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DeLand Police had received complaints about “drug sales, drug use, shootings, and stabbings” near a store in their city, so two officers drove by the business to take a look the evening of July 13.

They saw a fellow sitting in a chair in the store’s parking lot, and they saw a woman involved in “a hand-to-hand exchange” with the guy.

When the two police officers came into view, the ChairMan “quickly pulled his right hand away from the female attempting to conceal a gray plastic container.” One of the lawmen asked the ChairMan what he was trying to hide.

“I just found it, I just found it,” the ChairMan asserted.

The officers noticed “a hypodermic needle and a small plastic baggy with black contents on the ground” near the ChairMan and the woman.

The lawmen put the ChairMan in “investigatory detention” while they looked more closely at the gray plastic container. (What’s investigatory detention? Does that mean the guy was handcuffed to the chair?)

Anyway the officers found “13 plastic baggies that contained a white powdery substance,” weighing 1.9 grams bagged.

The lawmen learned the identities of the ChairMan and woman. He’s 38 and lives in Deltona; she’s 33, also lives in Deltona, and is the ChairMan’s girlfriend. (If they live in Deltona, why are they buying or selling drugs in DeLand?)

Girlfriend was read her Miranda rights and agreed to speak with the officers. She said the ChairMan owns the small baggie and the plastic container, and, she continued, there were no drugs in the baggie. The stuff in the baggie “was Brillo … used by [the ChairMan] to smoke crack.” (Mighty talkative, isn’t she? With a girlfriend like this, who needs girl enemies?)

The white powdery stuff tested presumptive positive for heroin. That’s heroin, meaning a highly addictive and very illegal drug; not heroine, meaning a heroic woman. Some people might say the ChairMan’s Girlfriend is a heroine; others might disagree.

The ChairMan was arrested on a charge of possession of heroin with intent to distribute. The police report notes that most people who use heroin don’t have “in their possession 13 individually bagged baggies of Heroin commonly used for sale, deliveries and not for personal use.”

That’s a good point: It would take an individual a really long time to use all that heroin. Heck, he or she might even die before using it all up.

— By Keith Allen, based on local police-agency reports. If you have information about a crime, call Crime Stoppers, 1-888-277-TIPS. You could be eligible for a reward.

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